By Eden Milne, June 2015
Think of the day you hold your first newborn. It’s a light and airy fantasy, no? For our Eden this is now her reality. She opens up on the mysteries of motherhood.
Furthermore, she was born hypoglycaemic and put on a dextrose drip. I had added pressure to succeed with breastfeeding. Suddenly the C-section didn’t seem so bad.
When it came to feeding, it appeared we were doing it right because she was sucking and swallowing. The fact that I was sore and my nipples were cracked seemed wrong to me because everyone says: ‘breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt;’ ‘if it hurts for the first few seconds then passes, it’s ok.’ For me the pain lasted the whole time, but I was too embarrassed to say anything.
Overloaded with leaflets and booklets regarding breastfeeding, I soon learnt it was apparently all about technique. So when my daughter screamed bloody murder I felt like the worst mother in the world. I would cry and pass her to her dad. My husband tried to be supportive by telling me to persevere, but he had no idea why I felt like a failure. My midwife was no help, she sounded just like the information leaflets and as I didn’t take to her anyway, I didn’t feel like sharing.
Five weeks on and I’m still breastfeeding and it still hurts . So, why am I doing it? My sister-in-law made me feel normal. She said that it was agony for her too. I just had to keep going and it would get better, but yes it’s still painful. (Finally, some truth!) It also helped that she was also breastfeeding my 3-month-old niece, so she knew what she was talking about.
So what’s my point, you’re thinking? If you want to breastfeed, my advice is perseverance and a high pain threshold. Perhaps talk to a mother currently doing it. Ask them for help and advice – hopefully they will normalise your thoughts and feelings. For me it did get easier, so much so that now I can breastfeed in public. Breastfeeding is now quicker than heating a bottle and I can enjoy a peaceful coffee at the same time!