From Pyramids to Pensions: Let’s go round again!

Welcome Back!

Interesting fact…Eight years ago, I managed to write an article for SaltAngelBlue about absolutely nothing (pause for applause). I know. I’m hoping to emulate that here.

If I asked you to come up with a sensible reason why a bunch of (mostly) men were standing in a circle, some shirtless, some a bit sweaty, nobody is 100% sure who everyone is, and ranging in age between (hopefully) 18 and knockin’ on heavens door, singing “Let’s go round again” at a raucous volume….you might struggle. Especially if I said, they were at a funeral. But if I said they were in a Gentleman’s Club being…entertained…by some circling lady friends, suddenly the world makes sense. I think.

Or does it?

I wonder if the Romans did Stag Do’s? Why not find out? Ask Koo; I feel like he would know.* I wonder if they chanted songs in circles to lady friends. I wonder if Donaldus Trumpus will be mercilessly assassinated by his own government. I can only hope. All of this makes me wonder….how far back do you have to go before things start to make sense? Have they ever?

Baby, let’s turn back the hands of time. Let’s look at the eight years between me twittering on about Sesame Street and now….  

A huge migrant crisis led to a borderline racist political discussion over immigration, and then…Brexit! Oh dear. Well done humans.

The world meeting in Paris, to promise, hand on heart, to turn the heating off, but instead, turning it up because we all like being a bit too wealthy. (Notre Dame burning down a couple of years later suddenly seems like a huge metaphor).

A criminal is democratically elected as the Leader of the Free World, using legally illegal strategies of mass manipulation. An idiot is put in charge of the Lungs of the World and decides to destroy them because….who needs lungs?

Zika, Ebola and the small matter of Covid. It was an actual country-wide lockdown, like a real-life movie. Because it makes perfect sense to make viruses even more pathogenic and infectious in an effort to understand them. Well done Humans.

Then, end of a 20-year war to end Terror that didn’t end Terror. Outstanding. A man invades a country because he doesn’t like it. The world literally being on fire. Even as I write this, the bombs are falling on Gaza.

I’m just not sure we can be trusted. We need a parent who knows us better than ourselves to make our decisions for us so we don’t have to think about them. Suddenly, A.I. makes sense. But it also doesn’t.

But hang on… let’s go round again. That was just…eight years of humanity at its worst.

We also built the pyramids…I think…invented democracy, abolished slavery, created the concept of the weekend, discovered fire and antibiotics, mapped the Genome, figured out that E=mc2, made an orchestra, painted the Mona Lisa, created SaltAngelBlue/The Internet, Bohemian Rhapsody, found out (I’m guessing through much trial and error, and possibly the poos) that beer is really really good, put a robot on Mars, made a United Nations club, invented pensions and building societies…

These achievements and many more reflect the collective ingenuity, inspiration and awesomeness of the human being and offer hope for continued awesomeness in the future.

One more time….eight years ago, we wrote about stuff. The good stuff. The stuff that makes us Human.

Beer Reviews, film reviews, mental health discussions, photography, art, running, food markets, breastfeeding, being young and drunk and covered in sand…wait, what? We wrote about the stuff that makes us awesome that needs to be written. We did this because it makes the world make sense. It’s what we like to do. As Humans.

So… let’s go round again….

By James Hornsby

*Editors note: No. The Romans didn’t do stag-do’s. At least not like the male-only booze-fuelled Viking-style rampages you see in Newcastle. They celebrated, but it was far more spiritual, and all were invited. More festive, less shame.